Fantasy Casting: "Noah"

I’ve been on a tirade about Exodus: Gods and Kingsand if I’m being honest, I think I’ll always be upset about that movie. But what I’m not upset about is that the film brought in only $8.6 million its first day in the theaters. That’s exponentially less money than what the studio was expecting to make, particularly to recoup the $140 million it took to make. Thanks to tons of bad press from mainstream outlets such as CNN (and many more that would take up a paragraph to name), and the #BoycottExodus movement merging with the #BlackLivesMatter movement (leading to die-ins in theaters and protests outside of them), the movie’s imagery has certainly made people think. It would seem that people are beginning to wake up to the fact that white actors in what should be roles for people of color looks stupid.

Ridley Scott’s main argument for not hiring ethnically correct (or even semi-correct) actors and actresses is that no one is going to watch a movie with, as he said, “Mohammad so-and-so” in the lead role. It’s my idea that this comment out of all of the comments that have come out about this movie is what really did the film in. I’m sure everyone named Mohammad wants to see a film with “Mohammad so-and-so” in the lead role.

Darren Aronofsky didn’t say such inflammatory things when it came to Noah, but it would seem that he followed the same line of thinking when it came to the casting. Everyone’s white, even though Noah, as I reveal in one of my Exodus posts, is related to the Kushites, who had dark skin.

So, while I create a post for who should have been cast in Exodus: Gods and Kings, let me show you my fantasy casting for Noah, which proves that 1) there are tons of actors and actresses of color who can fill the role 2) they are also big names and 3) people will certainly pay to see them since they’ve seen most of these folks on popular television shows like Homeland, Grimm, 24 and Rules of Engagement.

Just for clarification–I’m trying to cast the movie more accurately than the big blockbuster film, but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to be exactly right. In fact, I know I’m not exactly accurate with a few people on this list. But I’m doing the best with what Hollywood has allowed for. Ideally, if I was casting this film and a suitable actor can’t be found, I’d put out a search for an unknown or start looking for actors and actresses who are big in the Middle East and want to make a go of it in Hollywood. But as it stands, here’s the list, made up of actors and actresses in Hollywood right now.

Noah

Shaun Toub

Shaun Toub-Last Resort

Naameh

Shoreh Aghadashloo

Shoreh Aghadashloo-The Nativity Story

Ila

Nazanin Boniadi

Nazanin-Boniadi-Homeland

 

Shem

Adhir Kalyan

Adhir Kalyan-Rules of Engagement

Ham

Avan Jogia

Avan Jogia-Twisted

Japheth

Rohan Chand

Rohan Chand-Bad Words

 

Tubal-Cain

Anil Kapoor

Anil Kapoor-24

Shaun Toub in Last Resort. Credit: Mario Perez/ABC

Shohreh Aghdashloo in The Nativity Story. Credit: New Line Cinema

Nazanin Boniadi in Homeland. Credit: Bob Leverone/Showtime

Adhir Kalyan in Rules of Engagement. Credit:  Sonja Flemming/CBS

Avan Jogia in Twisted. Credit: Andrew Eccles/Disney

 Rohan Chand in Bad Words. Credit: Sam Urdank/Focus Features

 Anil Kapoor in 24. Credit: FOX