TV Review: "The Slap"

Meet Hector (Peter Sarsgaard, “An Education,” “Blue Jasmine”), a public servant, husband, father and valued friend on the cusp of his 40th birthday. Meet Aisha (Thandie Newton, “Crash,” “Beloved”), Hector’s beautiful and intelligent wife who is planning his party filled with friends and his very boisterous Greek family. Sounds like the makings of a great day, right? Wrong.

As Hector tries to navigate family politics, awkward friendships and the young woman he is dangerously captivated by, the built-up tension explodes when Hector’s hotheaded cousin slaps another couple’s misbehaving child. Everyone is understandably stunned, and the party abruptly ends with the child’s parents vowing legal action. What the hosts and guests don’t know, however, is that this moment will ignite a chain of events that will uncover long-buried secrets within this group of friends and family … and vigorously challenge the core values of everyone involved.

“The Slap” also stars Uma Thurman (“Pulp Fiction,” “Kill Bill”), Zachary Quinto (“Star Trek,” “American Horror Story”), Melissa George (“30 Days of Night,” “In Treatment”), Thomas Sadoski (“The Newsroom”) and Brian Cox (“X-Men 2,” “Red 2”).

From writer/executive producer Jon Robin Baitz (“Brothers & Sisters”), executive producers Walter F. Parkes and Laurie MacDonald (“Gladiator,” “Men in Black” franchise) and executive producer Lisa Cholodenko (“The Kids Are All Right,” “Olive Kitteridge”), who also directs the pilot, comes this unflinching look at how one little slap can have a huge impact.

My opinions:  SIGH. Big, big, sigh.

There are a couple of things I want to make clear before I start my review.

1.  I am not advocating child abuse.

2. I’m for having disciplined children, but I’m not about spanking or hitting kids.

With that said, The Slap is a waste of time. Perhaps this was made better in Australia, but the American version of this is pretty awful. It’s only worse because there’s big talent in it, like Thandie Newton, Uma Thurman, Zachary Quinto, and many others.

Maybe Americans haven’t figured out how to make compelling event series yet; across the pond, event series are regular series. Over here, event series are still seen as something special. They want to make it much more important than it really has to be.

Everything about this series is overwrought. The “drama” between the husband and the wife? I don’t care. The “drama” between the husband and the underage intern/college student? Don’t care. The “drama” of the husband being caught between the wife and his mother when it comes to the present she has given them (a trip to the husband’s family’s homeland, Greece)? DON’T CARE.

What I do care about is why this show wants us to care about two parents (the friends of the husband and wife) who don’t know how to properly parent and have a spoiled brat as a result. The boy doesn’t know any boundaries, thinks he owns everything, and his parents don’t even think to tell him he’s a guest in someone’s house. The mom even breastfeeds the boy, and he’s way past breastfeeding age (he’s at least 4 or 5).

Now, as I wrote up top, I’m not an advocate for laying hands on a child. BUT, I am an advocate for TEACHING YOUR CHILD SOME DAMN MANNERS! If there’s one type of parenting I hate is when the parents think their kids bad behavior is cute. THROWING TANTRUMS ISN’T CUTE TO ANYONE ELSE! IT’S NOT PRECOCIOUS! THE KID KNOWS WHAT HE’S DOING! I may not be a parent, and I know that sometimes, kids don’t know an action might be bad. But kids are also smarter than adults give them credit for (even though we were all kids at one point). If you were a kid who knew how to get your way, don’t think new kids don’t know how to do that stuff, too.

All of the characters are redonkulous and the fact that this “drama” is centered around a boy getting slapped when everyone watching was rooting for it despite their best intentions (be honest) is both hilarious and horrifying. Why did the writers make the child hateful? Why write the child in a way that has the audience rooting for someone to slap the kid? Why does the show want to play on our emotions in this fashion?

It’s kind of a big backfire to do it this way, I think. If we’re really going to show Quinto’s character as a loose cannon at least make the kid a good, mannerable kid whom everyone loves and his dad an actually good person and not a jerk. Seeing how Quinto’s character feels attacked by the kid’s dad for virtually no reason and then seeing the boy about to start a new reign of terror on his nephews and niece, how is the audience not supposed to be on his side? The boy’s parents aren’t doing anything to stop him from acting out. It’s unfortunate that Quinto’s character is the only one willing to do something, but at the same time, Quinto’s character is the only one that makes the most sense.

I’ll just bring this up also; I know that there are many white families out there who adhere to whipping and spanking as punishment, but if you come from a minority family, I bet you The Slap is going to come across as pure comedy from the first time you hear the synopsis. I’m pointing out minorities specifically to point out that even though there are many minority families who don’t spank their kids, the history of telling spanking stories goes back generations. My family is relatively spank-free, and even I’ve heard horror stories from my parents about grandmothers telling bad kids to get switches off trees and extension cords and stuff. After you grow up with stories like that, a slap on the face seems tame.

However, like I said, I know there are a lot of white folks out there who couldn’t roll their eyes harder at this show. Everyone, regardless of race, won’t be able to identify with these characters, perhaps except for Quinto’s character and his mom. Perhaps if you’re extremely affluent and/or out-of-touch, you’ll be able to identify with someone in that group. Otherwise, I don’t know who this show is for and what it’s trying to say. Don’t even get me started on that ridiculous narrator, who makes all of the scenes come to an extreme halt. Or the kids, who never act like real children; they’re always fighting and whining to an insane degree. Who wakes up having a temper tantrum about their brother not playing with them? At least have breakfast first!

To prove my point, here are some tweets from viewers of the first episode:

Should’ve slapped the hippie still breastfeeding a kid that age. “@NBCTheSlap Watch #TheSlap @NBC starring @ZacharyQuinto & Uma Thurman.”

— Steve from Philly (@SteveFromPhilly) February 15, 2015

Saw the first episode of #TheSlap and…it’s what I wanted to do to all of them. Could see myself hate-viewing it. Annoying and fascinating.

— Toledo Vader (@TrapeziusJones) February 15, 2015

I said it before, and even after watching NBC’s #TheSlap I’ll say it again… dumbest premise for a show ever

— the Lion Knux (@tehknuxlight) February 15, 2015

I’m not pro violence but I’m also not pro kids acting crazy. The kid in #TheSlap deserved to be slapped but his parents deserved it more.

— zainab johnson (@zainabjohnson) February 14, 2015

“If it was me it would’ve been called ‘The Strangle’ cause I would have strangled that kid”–mike #TheSlap

— Stacey (@Stacey87295) February 14, 2015

@MarkHsoap If a different person isn’t slapped every week, I don’t think I’ll keep watching. lol #TheSlap

— Rachelle (@Daytime_tv) February 14, 2015

One thing that’s really been bothering me: Why does #TheSlap have a fucking narrator like its a god damn Christmas movie?

— Thurman Pursley (@tcpursley09) February 14, 2015

#theslap nobody noticing this chick is breast feeding a full grown child with social issues

— tiffany coates (@tico75) February 14, 2015

He shouldn’t of hit the kid but goddamn that kids annoying. #TheSlap

— Mike (@FalseXpectation) February 14, 2015

For what it’s worth, I’m on @ZacharyQuinto‘s side. #TheSlap

— Sarah Rennie (@harasnicole) February 14, 2015

Im not saying other ppl should slap your kid, but i AM saying that parents who parent like Hugo’s aren’t welcome in my house w/him #TheSlap

— Cleocaptcha Jones (@KiaJD) February 14, 2015

Watching #TheSlap and I see I won’t be watching anymore. these people will drive me crazy.

— Cleocaptcha Jones (@KiaJD) February 14, 2015

What did you think about The Slap? Did you think it was stupid? Give your opinions in the comments section below.

Photo credit: Jeff Riedel/NBC, Virginia Sherwood